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Co-Regulation Before Self-Regulation

Parenting After Trauma with Robyn Gobbel

Health & Fitness

Self-regulation is a crucial developmental milestone and I’m thrilled that we are turning our eyes toward self-regulation instead of staying focused on behavior modification through rewards and consequences.  At the same time, we must remember that self-regulation is developed through repeated and regular experiences of co-regulation with an attuned, regulated, present caregiver.  If children are struggling to use their self-regulation skills, it’s quite possible that they aren’t regulated enough to access those skills.  They are getting dysregulated too quickly and need co-regulation before they can be expected to use skills on their own.  It is these experiences of coregulation that build the neural circuity for what is ultimately labeled you don’t need to worry that the continued offering of co-regulation will impede the development of self-regulation- it’s exactly the opposite!!!Humans never outgrow their need for co-regulation!  We all need connection and co-regulation!  Which is exactly why I've created The Club- a new virtual community for parents of kids impacted by trauma!The Club opens on December 31, 2020 and remains open until January 8, 2021.  At that time, it will close for new members for approximately three months so the founding members have time to co-create a solid community culture.  Head over to to read all the details, join the waiting list, or sign up (between Dec. 31 & Jan. 8, 2021!).**************If you are new to the science of connection and regulation, you'll want to grab my free masterclass on Regulation, Connection, and Felt-Safety at  

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