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Boundaries with Connection

Parenting After Trauma with Robyn Gobbel

Health & Fitness

Brain-based parenting with connection and coregulation doesn’t mean boundary-less parenting. In fact, if you are parenting a child who is a little delayed with regard to developing self-regulation, this type of parenting actually means MORE boundaries.But boundaries aren’t consequences or punishments.Boundaries are the supports your child needs to be successful.It’s a little like toddler proofing. Toddlers aren’t untrustworthy, misbehaving, or sneaky because they explored the stairs and then fell down. Toddlers are just doing their toddler thing with their toddler brain. It’s our job as the adults to provide the boundaries and co-regulation they need to support their developmental task (exploration) without getting hurt!So we provide lots of supervision and baby-gates. And we support their safe exploration of the stairs- holding their hands as they go up and down, or sitting one step below them while they play.If we remember a few important tenets of brain-based parenting:Connection is a biological imperativeBehavior is an externalization of inner experienceRegulated, Connected, Kids who Feel Safe Behave WellThen we can feel confident that when our kids are struggling (lying, stealing, manipulation, opposition, etc.) that they need more support.Read my blog article about Boundaries with Connection here: Boundaries with Connection Watch the original Facebook Live video on Boundaries with Connection: Facebook LIVES If you are new to the the relational neurosciences or this approach to parenting, you'll want to watch my FREE 45-minute video series on Regulation, Connection, and Felt Safety.  You can watch that on my website: Regulation, Connection, & Felt-Safety Video Series

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